


One Team, One Fight

by shadowsfan



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Baratheon brothers, Escape Room AU, Gen, House Baratheon, Modern AU, Modern Setting, Sibling Rivalry, Stannis week17, Team Building with the Baratheons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 22:43:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11473194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowsfan/pseuds/shadowsfan
Summary: The Baratheon brothers are forced to participate in a mandatory team-building exercise - an escape room.





	One Team, One Fight

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Stannisweek17, Stannis the Brother and House Baratheon

 

 

“I don’t understand what we’re supposed to be doing.  What is the point of this?”  Stannis Baratheon stared at the locked door in front of him and scowled.

 

“It’s called an escape room, Stannis,” his younger brother, Renly, answered impatiently while examining three small, ornately framed paintings on the wall.  “We are supposed to be escaping.  Escaping is the point.”

 

“Yes, obviously.”  Stannis turned to face his brother, his scowl deepening.  “But, the instructions we were given were vague.  We require more information if we are to succeed.”

 

Renly rolled his eyes and snorted.  “If they told you  _ exactly _ how to escape then it wouldn’t be a challenge, would it?  It’s a  _ game _ , brother.   It’s supposed to be fun, though I know that concept is foreign to you.”

 

“I didn’t come here to have fun,” Stannis snapped, his voice dripping with disdain.  “I have work that I should be doing instead of wasting time locked in here with the two of you.  Why is this ridiculous  _ team building  _ exercise mandatory?”

 

“You can blame Robert for that, not me,” Renly countered.  “Being locked in a small room with you for two hours isn’t my idea of a fun evening either.”

 

“Will both of you stop bickering like a couple of old ladies and start looking for clues!?”  Robert Baratheon, the eldest of the three Baratheon brothers bellowed.  “I’ll not be humiliated and lose this challenge to the other management teams.  Melisandre suggested we do this to strengthen company morale, but I’m in it to win it.”

 

“Melisandre is the real reason we’re here.”  Renly turned his attention to a small table in the corner, feeling with his fingers beneath the top.  “Robert has been trying to get into her lacy red panties for weeks.”

 

“That’s disgusting ─ and unethical,”  Stannis growled, eyes narrowing at Robert.  “She’s your subordinate.  Melisandre could file a sexual harassment complaint, and that would be the least of your worries if Cersei found out.  Or have you once again conveniently forgotten that you’re married?”

 

“No, I haven’t forgotten,” Robert answered testily.  “A little harmless flirting never hurt anyone.”

 

“It doesn’t matter,” Renly interjected with a sly grin.  “Stannis is the one she bats those lovely eyelashes at when he passes ─ not that he would ever notice.”

 

“Me !?” Stannis choked, as both he and Robert turned their attention to Renly.  “I haven’t done anything to indicate that I have a romantic interest in that woman!”

 

“No, of course you haven’t  _ done _ anything, Stannis.  Believe me, I’m as surprised as you are that Melisandre has such poor taste in men.  You’ve never shown a romantic interest in her at all, or in anyone really,” Renly laughed.  “Although, you  _ were _ unusually chatty with that man who locked us in here, Mr. Seaworth.  I suppose he is attractive in a rugged, working-class way.  Definitely not my type, but to each his own.”

 

Stannis glared at his brother, dark blue eyes flashing angrily.  “I was simply having a conversation with the man about his unusual job.  I found him interesting, and I’ll thank you to stop being rude at his expense, since he’s watching us at this very moment.”

 

“I realize there are cameras everywhere so they can monitor us, but I don’t think they have sound; hence the walkie-talkies they gave us to ask for clues.  Mr. Seaworth won’t be offended by my teasing.”

 

“For the last bloody time,” Robert snapped, his face reddening.  “Will the two of you focus on the task at hand!  We are in an alcove.  We are supposed to find clues to get us into the larger room beyond that door.”  He pointed toward a door at the end of the room which was secured by a padlock as well as a combination lock.  “Now,” he ordered, raising his voice a few decibels so that it reverberated in the tiny space, causing both younger brothers to wince.  “Find a way to get in there or you’re both fired!”

 

~~~

 

“Do they always argue like that?”  Davos Seaworth stared at the black and white monitor and watched the three Baratheon brothers shout at each other, albeit silently since there was no sound.  The tension in the cramped alcove was obvious from the stiffened postures of the men.

 

“Most of the time, yes.  Though they tend to avoid being in the same room together.”  

 

Melisandre smoothed her skirt and perched on a corner of the desk near Davos, peering over his shoulder.  “If I could just get them to function as a team.  I’m certain that Baratheon  Watercraft could become one of the most profitable companies in Westeros.”

 

“That’s your job?  Making the company profitable?”

 

“I was hired as a marketing executive, but after a meeting with Tywin Lannister a few weeks ago, Robert tasked me with improving the efficiency of operations.  I’m a firm believer that trust and cooperation between managers is vital for success.”

 

“Tywin Lannister?”  Davos raised an eyebrow.  “He’s always in the newspapers.  What’s he got to do with it?  I thought that the Baratheons owned the company.”

 

“Baratheon Watercraft is a subsidiary of Lannister Enterprises.  Ever since Tywin spent a month in Dorne, he’s been pushing hard for everyone to incorporate a more fluid management style.  He brought in Oberyn Martell as a consultant.  Cut the fat and maximize the profit is the philosophy.  It’s all about the bottom line.”

 

“Ah, I see.  And you?  Do you see yourself moving up the corporate ladder?”

 

Melisandre smiled.  “Let’s just say if all of this works out, you might be getting a steady stream of business from me.”

 

Davos chuckled.  “I don’t own the company.  I just run the room.  It pays better than my last  job ─ working on a charter fishing boat.  It’s usually more interesting too.  Although, if the customers show up drunk and make a mess, I still have to clean it up.  Some things never change.”

 

“I doubt that the Baratheons will make a mess, unless they start throwing things at each other.  Oh, dear.”  Melisandre frowned as Robert seemed to be gesturing even more angrily at his siblings.  Renly was doing his best to ignore him while Stannis just stood ramrod straight and continued to scowl.  It appeared that they were making little progress in finding the clues necessary for exiting the room.

 

Davos shook his head.  “I fought with my brothers, probably as much as those three, but I think we grew out of it as we aged.  Still, I can empathize with the middle one.  Stannis is his name, isn’t it?”

 

Melisandre raised an eyebrow, “Yes.  Stannis does exhibit classic middle-child syndrome.  I was hoping this exercise would force them to work together and overcome their differences, but Stannis can be especially stubborn.  I think his participation is key.”

 

“In my experience, I’ve seen all sorts of people come together as a team,” Davos offered, scratching his salt and pepper beard thoughtfully. “And I’ve seen people become frustrated and fight like cats and dogs.  I figure your chances are about fifty-fifty.”

 

~~~

  
  


“This scenario makes absolutely no sense,”  Stannis complained as Renly pushed open the door allowing the three men to enter into the larger room beyond.  “Who would write a padlock code in black marker, backwards, on the opposite side of a door, so that one can only read it with an angled mirror slid underneath the door?”

 

“I don’t care if it makes any bloody sense.  We made it into the inner room,” Robert responded, studying their new surroundings.  They were in what appeared to be a library.  A desk and several tables were present, as well as a faux fireplace and several shelves with books.  A five foot tall wooden elephant statue stood in one corner, and a game of scrabble was in progress on one of the tables ─ the tiles spelling out several words.  The most striking feature of the room was a giant television monitor mounted on the wall.  The image of a countdown clock in bright red numerals was televised, it showed that they had less than an hour left.

 

“I wish they hadn’t confiscated our cell phones,”  Stannis remarked, looking at his watch.  “I was expecting a business call.”

 

“Do you ever get any other kind of call?”  Renly snorted. “It isn’t as if you have a personal life.  Although, for once I agree with you.  I wanted to text Loras and let him know when we would be finished.”

 

“Seven hells!  I’m going to knock both of your heads together if you don’t start looking for clues!”  Robert snarled.  “There isn’t time for business calls or personal texts.  We’re supposed to be finding a stolen painting!  Need I remind you of how many snide remarks we’ll hear at work tomorrow if we don’t escape before time runs out?”

 

“You were the one who picked the “art heist” room!”  Stannis groused.  “When you required us to attend this silly exercise, I researched them on the website.  This room has an escape success rate of only thirty percent.  The jungle room has a seventy percent success rate.  Our odds would have been more favorable there, but you fancy yourself a detective.”

 

“The jungle room is for families with kids, Stannis!”  Robert countered.  “If you want to get satisfaction from defeating children, then by all means, go over there.  Ned Stark told me that Arya and her friends wanted to do it for her twelfth birthday party.  Perhaps you can join them.”

 

“I don’t want to join anyone!  I didn’t ask to participate, you ordered me.  You should have asked your good friend Ned to be on your team, if he was so keen on the idea.  Since you seem to have brought me along just to insult me, I’ll go.”  

 

Stannis stepped toward the door but Robert quickly moved to block his exit.     
  


“You’ll do no such thing.  If you hit that exit button we forfeit the game!”

 

“Would it really be so bad if we did?”  Renly whined, as Stannis and Robert glared at each other.   “I have better ways of spending my evening.  We participated in the exercise, that should be sufficient to convince the staff  that we are all part of the same team and all of that nonsense.”  He added with a smug smile,  “Win or lose it doesn’t change the fact that  _ we’re _ actually in charge.”

 

“Not for much longer perhaps.”  Robert blurted out, stress evident in his tense expression.  With visible effort he calmed himself, lowering his tone and meeting the eyes of both brothers in turn.  “I wasn’t going to tell you, because I didn’t want to worry you.  Tywin Lannister is threatening to get rid of us and bring in a new management team.  He isn’t convinced that we can work together effectively.  This is just the first little test to try and change his mind.”

 

“He can’t do that!”  Renly exclaimed.  “It’s our company!”

 

“I’m guessing that when Lannister Enterprises took over, there was a clause in the contract that allowed Tywin to buy us out with stock options if he chose to do so.  How could you allow this to happen, Robert!?  You assured us that Baratheon Watercraft would retain its autonomy!”  Stannis snapped, his dark eyes flashing with anger.  “This was father’s company and now you’ve ruined us!”

 

“The company was on the verge of bankruptcy!” Robert argued, his cheeks reddening as his voice rose.  “Tywin Lannister is my bloody father-in-law!  He offered us a way out.  What else could I do?  Who was going to come up with the money to save us?  Either of you?”

 

Stannis didn’t answer but stood stiffly, silently fuming while Renly studied his shoes.  

 

“It will reflect badly on the three of us if we can’t work together to win a simple game.”  Robert continued.  “Tywin wants us to prove our leadership skills.  All of the management teams will participate in this exercise.  Apparently it’s the latest business strategy touted by successful CEOs in Dorne.”

 

That remark prompted a snort from Stannis and a snicker from Renly.

 

“Afterwards, we must work together to come up with a plan to streamline operations.  Of course I suspect that this is all part of a plan to humiliate us.  I’m not stupid.”  Robert met Stannis’ gaze and held it, challenging him to argue.  “The question is are we going to let Tywin win?”

 

The three brothers studied each other in uneasy silence.

 

~~~

 

“Why are they just standing there yelling at each other?”  Melisandre bit her lower lip in frustration.  “This is turning out even worse than I expected.”

 

“Sometimes brothers just have to fight it out first.”

 

“I wouldn’t know.  I’m an only child.”

 

“As a man with six brothers and the father of seven sons, I speak from experience.  Anyway,  I wouldn’t worry just yet.  They still have time.”

 

Melisandre frowned.  “You don’t think that they will actually physically fight do you?  Did you and your brothers come to blows?  How would we prevent them from hurting each other?”

 

Davos chuckled, “Not after we were grown men, but plenty of times when we were young.  I don’t think it will come to that though.  See, they’ve quieted down.  I think they’re working it out.”

 

“I hope you’re right.”  Melisandre sighed.  “Although they don’t seem to be making any progress toward escaping.  The clock is still ticking away.”

 

“Maybe now would be a good time to send them a clue.”  Davos suggested.

 

“I thought that they were supposed to ask for clues with the walkie-talkie.  They only get three.”

 

“They can ask, yes, but if I feel that they’re not making any progress, I can send them a mercy clue.  It won’t count against them.”

 

“Do it.”  Melisandre nodded approvingly.

 

~~~

  
  


“Why is there a message on the screen that says, “Look at the furniture”?”  Stannis asked, peering beyond Robert’s shoulder at the bold lettering on the screen.  “That wasn’t there before, only the countdown clock.”

 

“I think it’s a clue, Sherlock,” Renly remarked with a smirk.

 

“Obviously,”  Stannis growled.  “But why did he send a clue when we didn’t ask for one?”

 

“Maybe Mr. Seaworth is taking pity on us?”  Renly moved closer to a mirror hanging on the wall and attempted to work a wayward strand of hair back into place, “Anyway there isn’t much to say about the furniture in this room except that it’s all a mashup of cheap knockoffs you would purchase at a rummage sale.  The only decent piece is this mirror─ hold on.”  

 

Renly turned, noticing something within the mirror’s reflection.  “Have either of you taken a good look at that elephant statue?  The tusks are uneven ─in fact, one seems loose.”  

 

He reached for the curved, white tusk and pulled.  A clicking sound was heard and the tusk moved to reveal a hidden compartment.

 

“Now we’re getting somewhere!” Robert exclaimed, reaching inside the statue and retrieving the contents of the compartment ─ a small flashlight, a folded map, and a key.  “Search the room for a lock to fit this key,” he instructed, but Stannis had already snatched the key from his hand and was methodically examining each drawer of the desk.

 

“The flashlight doesn’t work,”  Robert complained, waving it around the room while pushing the switch on and off with his thumb.  No illumination was visible from the head except a faint purple glow.  “We must need it for something, but it’s broken.  What kind of a half-assed outfit is this?  Where is that goddam walkie-talkie?”

 

“The letter U?”  Ignoring his brothers, Stannis held up a scrabble tile that he found in one of the locked desk drawers.  

 

Renly handed Robert the hand-set and Robert shouted into it, “We need another flashlight!”

 

~~~

 

Davos cringed and fumbled with the volume as Robert’s voice transmitted loudly over the radio.  

 

“There isn’t anything wrong with the flashlight,” Davos responded calmly.

 

“Of course there is!  There isn’t any light coming out of it!”  Came the shouted response.

 

“I’m not deaf,” Davos answered.  “Would you like another clue?”

 

Davos frowned and momentarily muted the walkie-talkie as a string of expletives assaulted his ears.  He and Melisandre watched as Robert stared at the screen, red-faced and brandishing the flashlight like a club.

 

“Should I take that as a yes?”

 

“I would,” Melisandre advised.  “It couldn’t hurt.”

 

“I may need a good word from you if they don’t make it out of there in time,” Davos remarked as he typed something into the computer and hit send.  “I need this gig to pay the bills.”

 

“I’ll make sure that you don’t get fired,” Melisandre assured, helping herself to a pot of coffee that Davos had brewed earlier.  She poured cup and stirred in two sugars before returning to stare at the Baratheon brothers on the monitor.  “What’s with the flashlight?”

 

“It’s a blacklight.  They need to use it to read the invisible ink on the map that only shows up under light of a certain wavelength.  If they figure it out things should start falling into place pretty quickly now.”  

 

“We can only trust in R’hllor that they don’t screw it up.”

 

Davos raised an eyebrow, “You believe in that stuff?  I didn’t take you for a religious person.”

 

Melisandre smiled enigmatically.  “It couldn’t hurt.”

  
  


~~~

 

“ _ Wavelength 450 nm _ .  What in the seven hells does that mean?” Robert snarled, staring over Renly’s shoulder at the latest clue to appear on screen.

 

Stannis’ lips twitched in what could have been a smile.  “It’s UV.”

 

“I’m afraid we need more information Stannis, and quickly because we only have seven minutes left,” Renly demanded.

 

“And if you say it’s obvious again I’m going to punch you in the face,” Robert threatened.

 

“It’s a blacklight.  Certain pigments fluoresce under light of a shorter wavelength.  It’s a clever clue,” Stannis explained, looking at them both in exasperation.  He stared pointedly at Robert and added, “Remember that poster of the naked Dornish actress you hid in your bedroom closet when we were teenagers?  You put the purple light-bulb in the closet to make it glow?”

 

Robert grinned, nodding in understanding.  He clapped Stannis hard on the back, causing Stannis to wince.  “Amazing tits!  You liked her too, admit it!”

 

“Brothers!” Renly snapped.  “Focus on the task at hand.”  He unfolded the map and placed it on a nearby table, motioning for Robert to hand him the flashlight.  He pointed it at the map and the letter X lit up brightly in pale yellow ink.

 

“The letter X must mark the location of the stolen painting that we are supposed to recover,” Stannis said, searching the room with his eyes. “But where exactly?”

 

“The bookcase!” Robert exclaimed.

 

“It doesn’t make sense, the location seems to be behind it.”

 

“Look for a lever or a button,” Renly instructed.  The brothers began groping the edges of the bookcase to no avail.  Robert began frantically removing books and tossing them to the side in frustration.

 

Stannis suddenly stopped, taking a step back.  “We need to think.  What about the scrabble tile?  That must mean something.”  He crossed the room to the table where the scrabble game was laid out, staring intently at the unfinished clues on the board.

 

“You always want to waste time thinking, Stannis!” Robert roared.  “There isn’t time to  _ think _ !  We have four minutes left!  We have to act!”

 

“There is always time to think!  Acting without thinking is the cause of most of your problems!” Stannis replied with a sneer.

 

“Will the two of you stop it!” Renly snapped.  “We have to work together.  Robert, let Stannis think!  It’s what he’s good at!”

 

Robert rolled his eyes but returned to his search.  Stannis sniffed, looking slightly vindicated. 

 

“And Stannis, you need to get moving.  You’re part of a team now, you can’t do this by yourself!”

 

Stannis scowled, but nodded curtly and returned his attention to the puzzle.  There was only one word where the letter U seemed to fit, but it didn’t make sense to him.

 

“Zugloch? That can’t be right can it?”

 

Renly turned.  “It sounds like Valyrian.  Opening or vent or something?  Loras has been teaching me for our trip to Essos next summer.”

 

“Vent?”  All three brothers lifted their eyes toward the ceiling.  The grated cover of an air vent was visible high above the bookcase.  

 

“That must be it,” Stannis said, taking a quick glance at the clock.  Two minutes remained.  “But we need a ladder!  I don’t see one.”

 

As he surveyed the room, Robert grabbed his arm.  “There isn’t time.  Climb on my shoulders.  You’re tall, you can reach it.  Hurry!”

 

Stannis stared at him dubiously, studying Robert’s obvious paunch that had slowly developed over the last couple of years.  “You can’t hold me.”  

 

“Yes I can!  Don’t argue for once, goddam it!  Just do what I say!”

 

Stannis shut his mouth tightly and with Renly’s assistance managed to hoist himself onto Robert’s shoulders.  Robert’s face turned red from the strain, his stout body shaking with the obvious physical effort of supporting his brother’s weight, but he held firm.  From his wobbly perch, Stannis managed to maintain his balance by placing one hand against the wall and removed the unsecured vent rather easily with the other, tossing it to the floor.  Reaching into the air shaft, he felt a rolled up tube of canvas about six inches from the front of the opening.  

 

“I’ve got it!” he shouted.  Stannis carefully descended from his stance atop Robert.  

 

Renly took the roll from his grasp and unfurled it.  It was a reproduction of a famous painting of a dragon which had been the sigil of House Targaryen for centuries.  Renly frowned.  “Not my taste.  If I wanted to steal a painting, this would not be the one.”

 

“Ten seconds!” Robert bellowed, shoving Stannis and Renly toward the door.  “Move!”

 

Robert’s hand slammed against the exit button, and the door flew open.  

  
  


~~~

  
  


The three brothers tumbled out from the dimly lit room, into the bright light of the waiting area just as the buzzer calling time sounded.  Melisandre and Davos were there to greet them, happily watching as the brothers clapped each other on the back ─ Robert and Renly laughing, while Stannis sported a more subdued, yet satisfied, smile.  The three brothers studied each other a moment, a glimmer of pride and perhaps admiration evident in each pair of Baratheon blue eyes.

 

“Congratulations! That was a wonderful display of teamwork,” Melisandre exclaimed.  “I hope you realize that you’ve discovered some of your best qualities working together ─ Robert’s strength and leadership skills, Stannis’ cleverness and Renly’s ability to negotiate.  See what happens when the three of you support each other?”

 

The brothers stared at her a moment then snorted in unison.  “Ridiculous exercise,” Robert snarled.  “Waste of time and money.”

 

“Agreed,” Stannis nodded, scowling.

 

“What time is it?  I need to get going,” Renly added, distractedly.

 

“We usually get a photo of the team members together, holding up the painting under the “I escaped” sign,” Davos offered, cheerfully.

 

“Gods no.  I’m out of here,” Renly scoffed.  “See you tomorrow, brothers,” he added, retrieving his cell from the bin where he’d left it and making a beeline for the door without waiting for a reply.

 

“That felt good!” Robert said, grinning at Melisandre.  “The Baratheon brothers are winners!  Let Tywin Lannister chew on that for awhile!  How about we go for a drink and celebrate?”

 

Melisandre glanced at Davos, her expression one of resignation.  Her eyes said it all ─ these three brothers were a difficult group to manage to say the least.  She turned her attention to Stannis, staring at him pointedly.  “You’ll come with us, won’t you?”

 

“I don’t drink alcohol.”

 

“You can have one drink to celebrate.  It won’t hurt you,” Robert argued.

 

Stannis opened his mouth to protest, then looked at Davos.  “Perhaps Mr. Seaworth would care to join us?  I would love to hear more about his job.  In fact, I’m thinking that this would be a perfect setting for Shireen’s birthday, which is fast approaching.  My only concern is that the scenario won’t be challenging enough for her.”

 

Davos looked uncomfortable at first, reluctant to join a group of customers, but then after some encouraging words from Melisandre and Robert, he agreed.  “Give me a minute to close up.”

 

Melisandre and Robert headed out to the parking lot while Stannis stayed behind to retrieve his phone.

 

“Did you have a little bit of fun at least?”  Davos asked hopefully.  “Most people seem to enjoy an escape room, as a diversion.”

 

Stannis met his gaze and he paused for a moment, brow wrinkled in contemplation.  “I suppose under different circumstances it might have been a pleasant experience.  I don’t often enjoy working in close collaboration with my brothers, but this wasn’t as awful as I first imagined.”

 

Davos hesitated before his face broke into a warm grin, coaxing a rare smile from Stannis in return.  “I’ll take that as a yes.”

  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  



End file.
